Travel tips for Trump and Kim in Singapore

You may have heard a little something something about Mr Trump and Mr Kim striving for world peace in Singapore. They'll hole up in the Capella, Sentosa island, to thrash it out - this hotel is a great choice as it has a lovely spa and a long view over the Straits of Singapore. Gorgeous at night! By coincidence, my next novel is set in Singapore. The main character in The Trailing Spouse lives right there on Sentosa, one of the country's most exclusive residential areas: 

"The taxi jerked to a halt outside a waterfront condo, an apartment block fronted with black glass and marble. Someone had tried to soften the effect with fountains and orchids, but there was only so much yin an herbaceous border could bring to the yang of a forty-story phallus."

Goodness, it strikes me now that my fictional condo would be right up our world leaders' street. Or "jalan", as they say in Singapore.

Drawing on my local knowledge and snapshot collection, I thought I would write a few tips to help Mr Trump and Mr Kim get the most out of their trip - and to stay safe on the holiday paradise of Sentosa. Have a great summit!

Entrance to Sentosa

Sentosa is a tiny island off the south coast of Singapore, which you reach by driving over a short causeway. It costs $7 to enter the island - don’t forget your change, Mr Trump and Mr Kim! Or get your people to organise an Islander card so you can come and go.

Merlion

It’s a Merlion. A Merlion. Half lion, half fish. The symbol of Singapore. This is the huge one on Sentosa, but there’s another one downtown that spits a voluminous stream of water, giving rise to the local saying “doing a Merlion” to mean “vomit copiously”.

Tropical paradise

Singapore offers the four Ss in abundance - sun, sea, sand and shipping. Much has been made in the media of Sentosa’s beautiful beaches but before Mr Trump and Mr Kim throw off their kaftans and leap in, I’d just say this: there’s a lot of ships; moored right there; if you were a sailor, wouldn’t you take a tinkle over the side now and then? Just saying…

Durian

Watch out for falling durian! They’re massive and heavy and spiky. People say they either taste like heaven or hell. My advice from experience: double check that what you’ve picked off the breakfast buffet really is a piece of melon, cos durian lingers.

Beasties

This one is just for Mr Trump. We know you love Florida. LUUUURVE Florida. And you’ll probably want to play golf on Sentosa. But don’t worry - if you spot this beastie it’s not a ‘gator. Just a friendly monitor lizard. Don’t let him upset your swing.

Kopi

Right, this is important. Singapore has its own special coffee language. Here’s a handy chart so you can work out if you need to order a Kopi O or a Kopi C. Or maybe you go for a Grass Jelly. Shiok!

And relax

It must be stressful, organising world peace. If things are getting too much, and the other team have taken over the Capella Spa, I’d advise you to head to the Botanic Gardens (you’ll have to cross the causeway again, so don’t forget your $7!) and take a reflexology walk. It hurts more than a caesarian section, but totally worth it when you stop. Enjoy!

The Trailing Spouse

Once the summit is done and world peace is achieved, you can sit back with a good book and reminisce about the sights and sounds of Singapore. Did I mention that my book is set on Sentosa?